Not For Kids

You know I intended this blog to be adult in nature. That's just warning everyone. Turn away!



Now, have you ever really thought about the act of sex? It's kind of gross, somewhat repetitive, and surely comical... But when you have to scratch that itch, you'll be looking like a dumbass just like the rest of them... just sayin'

The Oreo Debate

I like the cookies part of Oreos my wife likes the cream part. I called her a communist because she likes the double stuff Oreos. Why? because there is something Un-American about getting less, for the the same price.* There is less total number of cookies in the double stuff bag. My wife's answer to that? Get Two Bags!

Hmpf....

* yes I know you get more cream, but I wonder about double. You still get less cookies.

Why I'm Here

I made a mistake... while inebriated of saying something that was so outrageous everyone got a big laugh out of it. That's what I'm here for, so go ahead laugh.

Armpits

Ok I have a new "how close do you come to the Olympics". It's when I shower, everyday I shower (except maybe weekends) and I get to that point where you have to rinse your armpits. That's my Olympic moment that I share with all the male gymnasts out there. At no other time do I raise my arms in such a way.

My Ups

I think I'm going to sue somebody. Apparently people have taken to REAL pool pooping everywhere. I need my "ups". Thats all I'm saying...

What Do You Think?

Bob Costas looks like Moe from the 3 Stooges. What's with that hair? Is it a toupee or wig? Jeeze...

In Comfort

I think of all kinds of things while I cut grass, which right now is once a week (the grass, not the thinking). So anyway, once I finished cutting grass I though to myself, "Now the dogs can piss in comfort."

Hot Outside

So which is right? My daughter, who is only 2, and goes out to play at preschool, or my wife's school which does inside recess? Who is the pantywaist? Who's the tough guy? Is anyone right, wrong or in-different?

Farts

So my daughter... the little one, get on my lap, and sticks her butt up in the air. I "mock spank" her and she farts on me. Please tell me, who do you think runs my house? LOL