Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Your WTF Moment

There is the Korean thing going on (shots fired, people killed), the weather, Thanksgiving, airport patdowns, insider trading on Wall St... and what occupies the first 20 minutes of the news? Where and when  Prince William will marry Kate Middleton. Really? The first 20 minutes? I really just don't get it. This is what we care about?

Monday, November 22, 2010


So I get through 1 sick kid, then 2, then 3... and I think it will all be ok... Then I get sick too, and that just isn't cool. I hope they (the kids) will be as generous when they have money... probably not but it is nice to dream, especially between nose wipings. Just sayin.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Oh The Irony...

I always say how ironic it is that my kid(s) are out of school for this day (Veterans Day) and my wife is off, because she is a teacher... meanwhile, I have to go to work. Where I work, all of my co-workers are former military... they will be at work today too. WTF?!?

Friday, October 29, 2010

Stupid is as Stupid Does

What kind of dumb-ass walks around the neighborhood to judge pumpkins with an ankle that looks like 10 pounds of meat stuffed into 1 pound of packaging? Yeah that would be me... 

Monday, October 25, 2010

Aye The Saints!

This is much more what I am used to... The Saints losing to a 1-5 team in the Cleveland Browns. I wonder if Drew Brees is wishing he didn't take the money for the Madden Game now? I guess the season is pretty much a loss at this point. Maybe they will get in the post-season as a wild card, but I don't look for them to go beyond that. 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

And the Nut-Shot Goes To...

There is no better way to get a person to wake up then by giving them a good shot to the nuts. That is of course if they have nuts. I was being lazy, semi-sleeping... it really was not time to get up yet. My wife puts the baby on the bed, the baby flips over and kaboom, nut-shot. It happened so quick nobody could do anything. Well I could hold what was left of my nuts and cry, but other than that... nothing. I will say, no going back to sleep and being late for work... at least not today.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

First Words

So Augustus said her first words. I mean besides MaMa or DaDa or even BaBa. What was that word? Kitty cat... or as she put it... Titty Cat. Yeah I can tell being around her is going to be fun!

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Watching all the pre-game hype... The poor Saints can't get any respect. I hope they win, and keep on winning, just to shut all those silly talking heads up... Even if they have to break Farve in half. I'm not saying I want anything to happen to Farve, but if you keep going back to the well, sooner or later you'll come back with no water.

Saints 14
Vikings 9

Not what I thought it would be, but at least the Saints won...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday little sister. We aren't all that close to each other and about 700 miles separate us, but still, you deserve a happy birthday wish. I still can't get that one time at Pancho's out of my head... as if the big sombrero weren't embarrassing enough, there was Grant with his finger buried up his nose photobombing you before there was "photobombing"... Now I have to look for that picture.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Full of...

Way back, at the end of the school year, there were some kids going to class with my teenager that said there was no way they would go back to McCracken for a 4th year. They would go to Hilton Head and blah, blah, blah... Upsetting the other kids.

Well fast forward to this school year. All those kids, that said there was no way they would go to Bluffton, are there, just like everybody else.  Which is why I tell my daughter, "Kids are full of shit." And they are, they always will be...

Friday, August 6, 2010

The End

Nothing is so sad as when a man buries his dog. It signifies that the man respects or loves the animal enough to see it through to the end.

Monday, July 26, 2010


Everybody likes reform... so long as they don't have to change.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Ah... Vacation

As I tie things up before I go on vacation, I hope nobody robs my house, I pray that things at work will go smoothly, and most of all that everyone comes home safe... and that I had a memorable experience (preferably positive).

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

And There I was...

So there I was... Walking to my car, after a hard day at work, overhead I see a lightning bolt, before I can blink I hear the loudest thunderclap I have ever heard. And I lose all control of my arms/legs for a second. And then, just 2 seconds go by (maybe it could have been 1), and everything is back to normal, except my heart rate. Ahhhhh summer in the south.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I didn't know, but this term was brought home by my teenager. "Squaids", or Squirrel Aids, is a vernacular I, until now, was unaware existed. It was funnier when I thought my daughter and her friends made it up, but a little google and you see that it has a bit of a following. Now I wonder how that got past me, I guess I'm too old now.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Why is it...

That you can read a children's literature book in record time, but when it comes to reading adult literature, you find your eyes heavy and head bobbing by page 3?

I don't know, but I do know it kind of sucks.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Booty Pop

I saw this...

And I don't quite know what to say...

I guess if you have one of them negative asses... and not much money... this is for you. So go get one or two or more.

Friday, April 16, 2010

There Is No Outrunning the Internet

You know... sometimes you can run and run but in the end you still don't get away. What am I talking about? Well I can't get to detailed but it has to do with Facebook and family. You can't outrun the Internet. You could tell your friend/family member the wrong number, and not have to worry about them, but Facebook changes everything.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


So the Songbird was playing with her Barbies in her Barbie House. She had two of them naked laying with each other (both are girls). Her explanation for what was going on? They were being just like Mommy and Daddy, who sometimes lay down naked with each other and kiss. She said this with a strait face. I said yep, sometimes you just love someone, and you can't help but to kiss them...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


You know the clocks have changed right? You also know it is St. Patrick's Day coming up right? Did you know that PASS testing is in the same week? The test to see where each child is academically, at least in South Carolina. The first thing they say you need to do before the test? Get lots of sleep. Seriously? On the week we "spring forward" they expect us to get lots of sleep? Yeah, good luck with that.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Most American

Like so many conversations with any of my kids... This one was funny.

Me: (reading from a bottle of beer) What is more American than Paul Revere?

Teenager: Um, what about Billy Idol?

Me: What?

Teenager: (realizing that he is not American) So Billy Idol is from Germany?

Me: Um huh? Yeah OK Billy Idol is the most American, non-American.

Yep, that is the way we roll around my house.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

I Hate My Face

My daughter is a source of comedy. I know it is usually not on purpose, but it is what it is. She was telling me how she "hates her face" because she is a little put off with the whole teenage acne thing. I could not stop laughing, because I think almost everybody that is that age hates their skin. But of course I couldn't tell that to her.... she was too busy hating her face. I can't help but find a small bit of humor in her problem. I mean once you older and you understand.... or at least think you understand life, you realize how silly such a statement is really.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Two Words

Last night, just before bed my teenager and the songbird, Who just turned 4 yesterday get into a conversation. It only involves two words. They keep telling the two words in each others ear... like it was a secret. What were those two words?

"Naked Belly"

You got me on what that means. But they were saying it, and laughing, must be a female thing.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hey um... You Got Lipstick (crayon) All Over Your Face

I would have got a picture, it would have brought my point home that is for sure, but to protect the guilty, the songbird, I didn't. She drew around and around and around her lips with a crayon, I didn't even think crayon would stick to your skin, but clearly I was mistaken. She was zoned out, watching TV, and put the crayon in her mouth. From there it just made its way around her lips... around and around.

I ask "what are you doing?"

She just cries. I think she feels guilty, so what more can I do? I send her into the bathroom to wash it all away. The good news is she is clean, but the image will be stuck in my mind forever.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Chocolate High

This song:

was playing on the radio, and my 3-year-old, the songbird, said "this is my good-boy's (Thumper, the dog) song. Why? I have no idea, but in honor of Dr. King, I couldn't agree more.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What Did He Say?

I know this commercial has been around... but it makes me laugh...

That woman is so good at understating the obvious.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Who's Poop is it?

This thing happened the other day, I had to share with the group... My oldest, the teenager she took the dogs outside and she... stepped in dog poop. No big deal right? Well except she did or didn't know she stepped in dog poop. I say she did, because she scraped it off before entering the house. You see there is a poop trail, with her shoe print in it leading right up to the door mat, then she wiped her feet off and magically there is no more poop. She says that she didn't realize that she stepped in poop. And that is fine, I guess, but there is an underlying problem here. That is it is her responsibility to pick up dog poop, so you see it is somewhat comical that she stepped in dog poop... the very thing happened to her that she was supposed to prevent.

Meanwhile she is adamant that she did not know she stepped in dog poop, and that she is not to be faulted for it. But it is a failed argument, since she stepped in the dog poop, she failed to pick up the dog poop, and the whole thing is making me giggle because I've said poop at least 10 times. Poop... yes it takes very little to entertain me.